abandon heartbreak
[ we fall into it & crawl out of it ]
“It’s better to have love and lost than to have never have loved at all.”
Don’t be sad that it’s over, be glad the at it happened
~Dr Suess
Timeless. Classic. Ageless. Bountiful. There simplicity to capture the essence of a an emotion and the door through it are brilliant in their child-like composition. Suess are the only self-help book reading in my book. My mentor once said “I like quotes because they tell you how to feel.” He was spot on.
So when you find yourself in the depths of sorrow, mending yet another broken heart, take respite in the fact that what you’re feeling is human. It’s okay to not be okay. Your soul is aching. Let it hurt. Let the wound bleed. Let it scab, fall off and scar to serve as a memory of what your survived. Scars care proof of identity. Although you can’t see them on the inside, our heart and souls are blemished with them and that’s a good thing. It how we cope, grow, evolve deal. It’s what makes us the y=unique life-forms me are. Human.
[ 00 ]
[ RED AFFECTION ]
Razor blade kisses
The soft one she misses
Innocent lives
Taking flight
Now we both stand
Victims to fright
The light of the fire
Overpowered by hate
If only in my hands
I could fondle our fate
The times you inhaled
My feathered hair
It was only once
If you care
Coming home to roses
A table for two
Now I stand staring at you
Wondering who?
Who fed those words of passion
Into my tingling ears
Who grabbed ny hand
Said they needed me near
Unwrapped me as if I was theirs to explore
Yet now here I stand like a two cent whore
Your soft touch became lifeless
Raw
The emergence of a stranger
Is all I saw
If it was something I said
I’m sorry at best
But this pain you’ve caused ‘
Descends beyond my feminine chest
It seeps into my love heart
Bleeding from the harmful dart
You threw it there
One day
Somehow
Never again
Is all I can say as this draws to an end
For even now
As the blood runs thin
The mind game we play
Neither will win
The markings of red
We have both bled.
Cause all we have left
Are razor blade kisses
And it is only the soft ones she misses.
FROM FRIENDS TO LOVERS
MY MIND:
Don’t walk away or feel betrayed
A piece of me was your creation
You took the darkness in my soul
And taught me how to illuminate it
You brought me to life
By making me feel as though I belonged
Your never ending support
The soft words
The attempts at answering all my juvenile questions
You sheltered me when I shivered from fear
And when I was lifted from the ground
You held me tight
Promising to never let go
But still in the midst of this ideal world
A feeling of emptiness prevailed
A part of me had succeeded in remaining untouched
This part was my heart
It never skipped a beat
Nor attain that feeling described in timeless poetry
That thing we have come to call love
MY HEART
Here you are, my greatest rival
Who I have endlessly been at battle with
But now our cold war has finally been heated
By the friction of our bodies connecting
Momentary instincts
Naked figures that stand together
Struggling to understand how it could be
The wall has broken
The barrier abolished
Me
You
Us
Nobody else matters
The disbelieving friends
The fear of what the future may hold
The voice of reason telling me to pull away your lips near my own
No
I refuse to withdraw from your arms
I will follow whatever emotion it is that draws me into you
The challenge
The intrigue
The mystery of all you are
And all that you may come to be
Right now is all that matters
The two of us
Lost soles
Best friends
Emerging into something that will never shatter what we had
Simply give birth to something new
But now we must mourn the death of what was
The friendship before the confusion
But in this confusion
I have the comfort of the answers my head’s denied me.
The answers of my heart
With it’s mind of it’s own, it’s thrown me at you
Making the prospect of ‘us’ a reality
I know it is right because my mind’s voice has been silenced
By the calling of my heart
Demanding the need for you.
THE SHELL
My inability to conform to the conventional methods of exhibiting affection does not mean the I do not love you
The absent kisses and rare hugs are not my way of saying I don’t care, but rather that I value what we have too much too simply kiss your cheek and that suffices as an explanantia to how I feel
Throughout my life, I’ve searched for a person I could connect with and until our friendship evolved into what it is today, I was hopeless
I could not imagine one day finding I would discover the true feeling of complete ease with another
For my entire life was spent rejecting those who came close to me
My fear of people getting near and invading my space far beyond even my own understanding
Yet you are the only person who’s ever forced me to explore why I’m afraid
Terrified
This is a very hard thing, to trivialize your emotions and question your own actions
The greatest difficulty however is realizing that maybe it is possible to be taken out of your shell by another person
One whom wants them to be happy, satisfied and fulfilled
It was you who taught me the nature of caring and the rewards of letting people enter your guarded heart.
THE STAND-OFF ~ LITTLE GIRL VYING FOR DADDY'S AFFECTION
HEAD OVER HEELS ~ FALLING HARD FOR THE WRONG GUY
GHOSTED ~ TALK TO THE WALL 'CAUSE THE NUMBERS NOT THE GIRL'S
[ A LOOSING BATTLE ]
Pierce my heart with your lethal dagger
As you stand before me in your suit of armour
Untouchable you are Vulnerable I am
The ultimate enemy you are
Yet still I long to fight this battle
Even if only to lose
There will never be a time I thrive in defeat
For your the strong
I’m the weak
And you know this is the truth I speak
That’s why you’re here
standing tall, head above water
While I bow my head, drawing in water
